D Don't Date Ep. 6- D and the Apology Challenge

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After Benj reveals her secrets to his roommate D demands he make it up to her through an apology challenge

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY LISTENS TO ME

So I was perusing the interwebs and I realized that a suggestion I made back in July that Dorm Life should be included on EW's Must List was added to the website. I should pick out all their entertainment musts from now on.

READER'S CHOICE: INTERNET
WEB SERIES DORM LIFE
It keeps getting better and better and it's honestly better than The Office right now. —Ddontdate

Notice how awesome I am at constructing a sentence? I used the word better three times! That's good writin'.

You're welcome Dorm Life. As my reward I would like to make out with Mike. He's adorable. Or maybe even Marshall, I have a weird thing for dictatorial douchebags on a power trip.

http://attentionspanmedia.com/asmblog/2009/07/13/dorm-life-on-last-weeks-entertainment-weekly-must-list/

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20209564_20209587_20288725,00.html

Choose Your Own Adventure

Remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books? Much like Oregon Trail, Saved By the Bell, the Sweet Valley Twins books and the Speak and Spell, the Choose Your Own Adventure books were a fond part of childhood.

Did anyone else have the Christian Choose Your Own Adventure book which instead of picking which castle door you went through you were always deciding if you should or should not have sex with dudes?

My mom got us a book when I was in jr. high called He Gave Her Roses (because girls, roses are an insidious weapon for boys to get into your pants) in which Stacy would go around making life decisions that basically just involved boys and sex. Apparently Stacy never had to pick a career or decide where to go to college. She just had to decide if she wanted to do it without birth control.

The great thing about Stacy was whenever you decided she should have sex something bad always happened to her. Either she got knocked up, or was subjected to vicious rumors or was scarred emotionally FOR LIFE. Stacy couldn't catch a break whenever her vagina was in action. Even if Stacy was in a committed relationship with her loving boyfriend and decided to do it the sex actually tore their relationship apart. Years later she'd have to relate to her daughter how sex had ruined everything. There was never an adventure where Stacy does it, nothing happens and she moves on with her life. Not so fast, Stacy.

That book was like a horror movie where you knew something bad was behind the door but you always chose to have the sex anyway. And then up would pop the monster. Pregnancy! Regret! Shame! Emotional Scarring! Disrespect! God Now Hates You! Everyone Hates You! You Are Now An Evil Slutface!

But if Stacy decided to Just Say No, there was always love and lollipops around the next corner. Boys liked and respected her more. She was a better person. Jesus glowed in her heart. Stacy never regretted not doing it. There was never an adventure where Stacy said no and then never had a chance to do it again and her vagina dried up and fell off. Or Stacy never declined her high school boyfriend and then realized she should have just gotten it over with instead of searching constantly for The One. Oh no. Every time Stacy refused penis only good things happened. Penis was Stacy's kryptonite. I'm surprised there wasn't an adventure where Stacy has sex and then promptly gets run over by a bus because she has SHAMED GOD. There probably was one and I'm just blocking it out.

Strangely I miss that book. It's nice to know when you're not getting any that someone somewhere is being punished for doing it.

I found it on Amazon! Oh happy day.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0931529921/sr=1-1/qid=1255683945/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me=&qid=1255683945&sr=1-1&seller=

Me vs. the One Upper- Pictures

As you can see I'm not a huge fan of her pasty ass. Mostly because she has to turn everything into a competition and I can't help but 'Hulk' out when I'm around her.

D Don't Date Ep. 1- D and the Dry Spell

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After a dating dry spell, D is ready to get back into the game. The only problem is she sucks at it- badly.

Top 10 Excuses for No New D Don't Date Episode

Okay, so there won’t be a new D Don’t Date episode this month. But we have a good excuse or ten of them. Please choose your favorite and just run with it.

10. We rented our camera out to a low rent porn company. Anything to help bring more amateur porn into the world.

9. Benj used to be a “special” visitor to Neverland Ranch so he took Michael Jackson’s death pretty hard.

8. My landlord wouldn’t let me pay my rent in gummy bears.

7. I wasn’t loved enough as a child, so now I have commitment issues.

6. My chia pet died. So that was rough.

5. I got caught up in the back to school sale madness.

4. Fred Claus has been repeating on HBO.

3. You know why.

2. We were getting our wisdom teeth pulled just like Mischa Barton.

1. I was too busy with all the sex. (Don’t ask me who. Alright, it was Jesus.)

The 4 Worst Facebook Updaters

Facebook Updates. That wonderful creature that let’s you know when your aunt is having a burrito or your friend has finally lanced that boil.

But there are those Facebook friends that insist on using the Facebook Updates for evil. Here are the four types of Facebook updaters that are most annoying. Are you one of them?

1. Passive Aggressive Patty- this person uses Facebook as a secret tool to get back at their unseen frenemies. Their status updates go something like this- ‘How is it possible for someone to chew so loud?’, ‘Why is it so hard for people to put the toilet seat down?’ or ‘I can’t believe some people would stab me in the back and embarrass me, I would never do that to a friend.’ It’s brillant because instead of going to someone and letting them know that something they did bothers you, you can post a cryptic message about them on Facebook so everyone else can know that they pissed you off! And it’s awesome that you left out the name so everyone just has to guess! You can be both bitter and vague at the same time. Then you can wait to see if that person reads your status updates and feels the public shame for what they have done. Because they should. Oh yes, they should.

2. Downer Debby- This person doesn’t need a special secret someone to be mad at, they have the entire world! ‘Why does life suck so much?’ ‘Why is everything so awful?’ or they just use their alloted time to bitch about whatever’s on your mind. ‘Work sucks- again.’ ‘My husband is a dick.’ Or ‘God, people are stupid.’ Everyone can have a bad day but Downer Debby always has bad days and she wants everyone on Facebook to know about it! Instead of medicating like she probably should (Debby either you’re depressed or an asshole, which is it?) she uses the Facebook wall as therapy.

3. Trudy and Troy True Love- everyone knows this couple. They love each other. Like a lot. So much that they have to tell each other- a lot. And they could never just email or text or god forbid call the person to let them know. They need to express their love- on Facebook. Just in case you didn’t know they love each other. And miss each other if they haven’t hung out since lunch. And they need to let each other know how hot the other one is. Via Facebook. Because their love is REAL. And no one has ever loved like they LOVED, in the history of everything. And everyone on Facebook must know. Because it’s just not the same when you say it to someone’s face. Or in private.

4. Vague Velma- this combines the passive aggressive magic of number one with the life’s a bitch mentality of number two! Vague Velma has bad things happen- but she wants you to guess what they are. ‘Today has been a nightmare.’, ‘It’s so awful what happened,’ ‘Work was awful today.’ These updates allow everyone to crowd around and be like ‘what’s wrong?,’ ‘what happened?’ It’s like sharing your problems with 200 of your closest friends. And making them guess what they are. And then when you feel people have expressed the proper amount of concern you can let them know about that killer speeding ticket that’s really got you down today. Harrah! Group back pats for everyone.

Did your Facebook updates make the list? Did I leave someone off? Discuss in the comments.